#SoloAdventures: Why being alone is important for our society. 

I was talking with my daughter as she came back from a camping trip with friends. I asked her what she learned about her self and others on this trip off grid. She said “I learned that there’s times I need to be alone. When I’m alone I am able to find my values and myself”. I thought this was a pretty brilliant answer for a 15 year old who struggles to find her own voice in an age of intense peer pressure.

When I asked her what she thought her values were, she didn’t have a good answer. She said “that’s why I need to be alone, I need time to think about what kind of person I want to be and what’s important to me so I can be the best version of me”. Pretty … damn … smart.

I started thinking, regardless of our age, we struggle to determine the people we want to be. We often struggle to find ourselves in the face of change and our voice gets buried in the load roar of society’s voice. That’s why being alone is so important. You need time to reflect and contemplate what you want in your life, who you want to be.

When you find yourself on solo adventures you only rely on you. You are only doing things you want to do, eating where you want to eat, and exploring what you want to explore. You do not listen to anyone else’s voice, hear anyone else’s opinion, or deal with anyone else’s expectations. When you solo adventure you have to rely on yourself and find your own strength to navigate, to get around, to figure out timing, and make decisions. 

This is no easy feat, in our world there are so many choices in every moment it’s often safer to stay between black and white, right and wrong, good and bad. When we don’t know ourselves well and have a strong identification with our personal values, it’s safer to adopt values based on someone else’s voice. It’s easier to let someone else tell us what we should and should not do, who we should like, what we should like, what we should eat, how we should move, when we should go to sleep, what we should read, the list goes on. It’s also a bit of a cop out. If things go wrong or don’t turn out as we expected it’s not our fault we were just following what we were taught. Solo adventuring allows you the opportunity to find out what your own values are and then live your authentic truth. 

I know this is a commercial … but I like all the different places it shows. I do not know about this company. I just liked the video. 🙂

Finding values is hard. There’s great freedom and responsibility in value choices. If you haven’t given your values a thought in a while, now might be a great time to take a value inventory determine what it is that matters most to you. From here you can look at your day to determine if you are living up to your values. So many of us give great lip service to values, but we don’t really live by them. We say we care about our health while tanking it with our food choices, say we care about being present while using substances to alter our state whenever we are with good friends decreasing our ability to be fully present to them. We say we want to move more, while driving around looking for the closest parking spot. If you haven’t spent some time soloing – it might be time to book yourself some alone time and reflect on how well you’ve been living up to the person you say you want to be. 

If you haven’t thought about your values in a while check out this values inventory to help you get started. This is a great place to start. It’s important to check in on your values every so often. The person you want to be today, may not be the same person you were 2 years ago, 5, 10 years ago. Solo adventuring offers an opportunity to take space and develop a relationship with yourself. 


When you have a strong self-relationship, you know who you are – deep down know who you are. You know you are not trying to fit yourself into someone else’s category. You have an understanding of what’s important to you. Once you have clarity, you have an opportunity to practice skills that move you toward the person you want to be every day (more on this in the next post). Other people’s voices no longer crowd your mind, you know what to do to live your most fulfilling life.

This is an amazing gift to the rest of us. When you live your most authentic self, the rest of us are free to live our authentic lives. We all get an opportunity to bring our gifts to the world and be valued for them. Ahhh, isn’t that what it’s all about in the end?

To all my running friends and all my non-running friends – this is an inspiring podcast on creating the life you want using movement to express yourself, calm, and connect. It happens to be focused on running, however you could substitute all sorts of physical activity.

The big take away for me was – Remember to use your body as your spiritual source. Get embodied in your activities and experience them deeply and thoroughly. This is the place of being Alive.



Superior Balance

Hey Superior Balance friends look what I found! Jeff and I are planning to be in Superior and thought it would be nice to reconnect with folks from the club. We’ll be at Tavern 105 (61st & Tower) July 28th at 6:30pm. Please pass this along to others I don’t have on my facebook who might like to join us and re-connect after 10 years.

Checkout the pictures I found: https://www.facebook.com/stacy.reuilledupont/posts/10212700311038637

22 push-ups to start your conference breakout session! WTF!?!??!

The session starts just like all the others – you settle in, getting ready to take notes, not making eye contact with too many people, staking your energetic space, and wondering if you’ll have to pee 1/2 through “am I close enough to the door?”

When the door closes, I decide I am close enough to the door to pee if I need to and I relax into anticipatory excitement to learn. Then Chris begins to explain how he starts all his groups. WAIT!? Did I hear him right? In my business clothes, at a criminal justice conference, he’s going to have me do 22 push ups? In unison, with a group countdown! 

Gotta love it when the presenter of your session is a USMC vet and a Crossfit gym owner!

Thank you Chris Cater of Veterans Overcoming Obstacles for making sure my body was warmer than the room’s air conditioner AND that my mind was ready to learn. Love hearing stories of exercise as a healing agent for mental health, PTSD, and stopping death by suicide. Thank you for your great work!!!

Want more info on this great program and meet these tough athletes, visit VO2 and see how this program is saving the lives of our veterans everyday. Gotta love the power of exercise to heal our mind.

Want more info on exercise and mental health? Check out these posts on exercise and mental health, what do physical sensations have to teach us, or my recent post on suicide.

#kill22, #pushupchallenge, #mentalhealth, #suicideawareness

What will you plant, water, and grow? It’s amazing how many of us want life to be different, yet continue to maintain the same patterns that got us where we are today. The power of the mind is great. When you shift your attention, your focus, your perception of what you see, what is available to you, and where you are going you set patterns for something new to arrive in your life. Where you put your attention is what will arrive. Are you ready to really move in a new direction? If so then it’s time to think differently about your path.

Personal trainer friends & those who want to make sure your trainer knows how to deal with your anxiety, depression, trauma getting in your way of losing weight and being successful in your health goals. HELP!!!

I’m looking for help determining what areas to focus on for an upcoming article series.

Please let me know what mental health areas are most concerning to you. I want to focus the series on information that’s helpful for you.


Borderline Personality Disorder gets a lot of negative press. Yet underlying this very destructive and sometimes lethal disorder are very basic human needs of connection, validation, and attachment

If you feel like you are struggling to feel validated and connected check out this post I wrote after I experience the loss of 2 people to suicide in one week. There are ways we can help each other.

And a great list to help bring awareness to the struggle folks with this disorder have: http://backonpointe.tumblr.com/post/155912430040/bpd-symptoms-to-stop-making-fun-of-and-to