Understanding and owning your emotional experience is key to staying grounded in a variety of relationship patterns. From getting swept away with actions that may not be best for you to getting in fights and prematurely (or waiting too long) to end relationships, understanding impact and influence versus handing over your emotional power is key. Many of us avoid feeling our vulnerability in relationships by blaming the other person for “making me feel this way” instead of taking our power back and recognizing our control in our responses. The fears of being hurt and the feelings of vulnerability associated with disempowerment are scary. It is natural to work on avoiding them. However, if you can take ownership of your emotional responsibility and own your role in your feelings you do not have to fear hurt and vulnerability.
In my undergraduate studies there was a moment in time when I was a communication major. In the end I graduated with a bachelor of science in exercise science and a minor in business and communication studies. You are probably pretty familiar with the “regular” ways we communicate i.e. talking and body posture. Did you know that communication is mostly non-verbal? And that we as mammals can understand and pick up subtle nuances based on somatic markers? These somatic markers are based on the chemical, electrical, and vibrational communication patterns our cells and atoms use to communicate to each other.
Good communication begins with us. It is our responsibility to take care of ourselves and build a strong sense of self that doesn’t fear differences. This allows others and ourselves to show up authentically without feeling judged, attacked, or invalidated just because someone has a different opinion. Very difficult, but worth the try.
Ever had that road trip where all you heard was “how much longer”? Today work on flipping how you interact in the car. Use this time to connect and get to know each other better.
Struggle to make it through difficult conversations? Here are 3 ways to make it through a difficult conversation with ease.