Spiritual Sunday: Communicating with something larger than yourself

Good communication begins with us. It is our responsibility to take care of ourselves and build a strong sense of self that doesn’t fear differences. This allows others and ourselves to show up authentically without feeling judged, attacked, or invalidated just because someone has a different opinion. Very difficult, but worth the try.

For us to be really good at communicating with other people we must be able to communicate well with ourselves. We need to have a strong grounding in our own values, viewpoints, and opinions and a strong sense of self. These allow us to stand tall in our own truth while allowing others to stand tall in their own. To build this strength it is important to cultivate practices that allow for reflection and communication with something larger than ourselves. 

The concept of something larger than ourselves exists in many paradigms and practices. These range from ideas related to spirit, the earth/nature, to the psychology of how mammals communicate somatically. In the end it does not matter what you chose as your paradigm of existence. 

What matters is how you cultivate your practices to maintain connection to something larger than yourself. What matters is that you recognize that we are all connected and how you act in your private life influences other humans and other systems (like water supplies for example). What matters is understanding that there is a shared aspect to everything we do. By taking time to recognize our connections to something larger than ourselves we relate better to those around us. 

When we are better able to relate to those around us, the environment we are in, and be open to the differences between us we are more grounded in ourselves and less susceptible to the vulnerability created when someone has a different opinion, value, or viewpoint than we do. This creates easier conversations and more effective communication for everyone, thus creating more acceptance, less judgment, and more openness to those around us. It also helps create a sense of responsibility for our personal role in helping to create a healthy, vibrant, and just society. 

Happy V-Day. The Emotion of Love

Are you operating out of love or out of fear? Can you tune into your capacity for connection, compassion, and acceptance by loving others deeply … even those who are not like you? Even those you do not like? Even yourself?

Many people love today, many people hate today. Today is the day we celebrate the concept of “being in love”.

Love is our most powerful emotion. It has the highest vibration and is the most talked about in all spiritual cultures. It is the emotional state we are aiming to get. This does not mean we are all working to get to intimate sexual love – but to the power of compassion, connection, and recognition of self in other.

Being in a state of compassion, connection, and acceptance allows us to integrate a number of our systems for optimal function. A healthy human is one who is integrated and has flexibility in response options to both mental and physical health issues. The emotion of love brings our systems into integration with self, others, environment. This integration impacts our physical system and moves our tissues toward physical health. It aligns our mental health with openness for experience which allows us to be flexible in our choices – thus choosing the best option for the moment we are in right now.

The difficult part … most of us have been hurt after expressing the emotion of love. We’ve been hurt by those who have pledged to love us, those who care for us, and ourselves. We have extended our precious heart only to have it smashed to smithereens (I know I’m being a bit dramatic, but that’s what it feels like to a lot of us).

As a result of this hurt, we extend our love conditionally. We open up in limited ways. We fear those who are different than us. We hold back and judge instead of open up into compassion and acceptance. We do not accept others and we do not accept ourselves.

We close ourselves off to love and its benefits out of fear. Fear and hate lay at the lower end of vibrational measurements. They constrict our physicality and mental abilities. In efforts to stay safe we rally and protect our own, cut ourselves off from others, and stay small. The energy of this constriction leads to more fear, more constriction, and more physical health problems. The way to combat loving others fully when it is scary it to begin by loving ourselves fully.

As you contemplate what love means in your life today … make sure you reach out and pay attention to yourself. Love yourself … fully … completely … and honestly.

If you are having trouble loving yourself, you will have trouble fully loving others unconditionally. If you cannot love yourself fully it may be time to do some therapy around the topic. For many of us, we cannot fully embrace the greatness that is us. In my office I ask, “what’s so great about you”? About 75% of the time people look up confused and unable to answer the question. As therapy unfolds they begin to have less problems with this question, and can answer with confidence about the greatness within.

Two things are true – you are good enough and there is always room to grow. Love yourself fully today.

I Saw God Today

I saw God today. I also saw God yesterday, and I am pretty sure I’m going to see God tomorrow. Everywhere I look, God is present. Everyday, I sit with people and listen to their stories. Deeply listen. I listen under the crustiness of day to day operations and listen into the core of who they are. Everyday, I see examples of amazing resilience and this thing we call being human. As a result of being intensely connected to another I see the pulse of our universe. I see God. 

Those of you who know me well, know I’m not what you’d call a religious person, however everyday I feel this pulse and feel the universe breathe. Everyday I hear the beauty that surrounds us and dive deeply into the moments that matter. Mostly through words and physical sensations – our innate human experience. What’s incredibly curious to me is the way we think and feel so different than everyone else, yet we are so much the same. 

Each story in my day is unique, often I have no idea how the plot will twist yet the themes of the day remain the same. Am I good enough, can I be loved, will I make it, what if I fail, will people show up to help me, can I trust myself, am I safe. When I can’t figure out the nuanced theme, I just go for the big one – am I worthy, do I matter. 

Our personal brand of wounding lends itself to all sorts of manifestations in our lives. If I feel no one will help me, I’ll learn to do it all by myself. If I feel like I am unlovable, I’ll either work really hard to please everyone or I’ll become aloof and push people away. If I feel like I am not safe, I’ll make sure to be part of communities with very clear lines and defined roles so I can rest in the safety of knowing the “truth”. In the end … we are all ok. 

We are all lovable. We are all worthy. We all matter. When we can embrace our inner essence we open the door for others to embrace theirs. When we shine our inner lights bright, they get to shine theirs bright, too. This is very very very … very … important to the world. If I do not shine my light bright, I cannot fully bring my uniques gifts into the world. If you do not shine your fully your’s do not enter either. 

This creates a situation – kinda like the one where my grandma would lose the 1 puzzle piece that completed the 1,000 piece monstrosity. The world is incomplete when it’s missing pieces. We are each a piece and must show up fully to make the puzzle complete. 

Everyday, I am surrounded by the magic that manifests when we are authentic in our personal experience. It’s like standing in a dark yard quietly watching the fireflies light up the night. When one doesn’t shine I can’t see them, when too many don’t shine the yard is dark. When they are all busy blinking off and on it is breathtakingly beautiful. 

Please allow yourself the gift of living authentically in your gifts, shining your light bright. I want my dark yard to be lit up by your magnificence. 

And as always, if you are struggling you can schedule a 15 min Q&A appointment to see if it’s time to give yourself the gift of therapy. When else can you talk about yourself for an hour with someone trained to deeply listen to your core, not just the story you tell yourself. 

Living Free From the Numbers

It’s the 4th of July!!! For today, think about letting go of all the numbers you associate with your health.

Let go of checking your weight. Instead go by do I feel better, am I sleeping better, do my clothes fit better, am I better able to do the movement my daily routine requires?

Let go of how many minutes you move. Instead plan to move more often than not throughout the day and tell yourself you are going to take all the opportunities that exist to move when they arrive – that picnic game, yeah you’re in it – the foray into the water, yeah you join – that sunset walk, yeah you did it.

Maybe even take a break from the negative self-talk you have regarding your healthy lifestyle behaviors. Are you one to tell yourself you can’t do something or won’t reach your goal or you’re such an idiot because you didn’t pay attention to how much potato salad you put on your plate? Instead fill your head with compassionate self-talk. You are doing the best you can, given these circumstances, in this moment, with the knowledge you have right now. It may be that taking extra potato salad taught you that next time you don’t need so much, but hey – you didn’t know that when you filled your plate, or if you did what else is going on that may need attention and learning?

Today embrace the freedom of living healthy, choosing the best options for yourself in the moment with compassion, and staying focused on your goals without being ridged about them.

Today be free to be the person you want to be and know that being that person takes practice and time. In every moment you have either a lesson or a blessing – see how many of each you can find, while knowing that as you make healthy choices in each moment you are on your path to living healthy and free.

What Does Clean Living Mean to You? 

This was a contest I entered on Instagram. 

I thought it posed an interesting question that lead to simple or complex answers. It made me think beyond the New Year’s detox diets, breaking up with sugar rules, and weight loss desires. 

My answer included all aspects of my life, my food & beverages, my exercise habits – do I train too hard? Too light?  Not enough? Too much? The things I let into my awareness  – news, music, people, TV, photos, etc, and the concept of who I want to be. All these role together to create my concept of clean living. 

Check out my response below & visit the two health coaches who sponsored the program on Instagram – Sarah Teddy Klein @wholehealthlab and Karen Wojciechowski @realenergyfood #wholecleanliving

Here was my response… 


Clean living is about burning away all the choices that clog you up. Living clean is about staying grounded enough to be open to the possibilities that cross your path. 

One cannot do that without feeling well. For me to feel well and remain open I must be vigilant about my daily movement, my food, my spaces, and my social times. 

I must honor myself in each choice doing just what is needed to move me in the direction I want to go. Doing too much will clog me up, doing too little will clog the path. 

To remain clean I must focus on the pleasure of treating my mind, my body, my heart, and my soul well. It starts simply with movement and is followed by what I allow in. Will this food item, news report, musical song, person help or hinder me? 

Then I must choose wisely, burn away all that is no longer serving me, let go of all I no longer need, and live fully into the moment right in front of me. That is clean living.