3 Ways to Instantly Overcome Fear of Failing.

I am afraid of failing … Again! This is something I hear from my clients who are working hard to reach their health goals all the time. It is part of why they are in my office in the first place.

Sometimes I even hear it from myself.

But why do we say this? What causes us to say we are going to fail?

Two words: Confidence and discipline.

Photo by Nathan Cowley

We know what we need to do but those two things get in the way, and we start to tell ourselves we will fail. We tell ourselves about our past failures and begin to create a narrative that supports an identity of a person who doesn’t succeed, doesn’t get things done, and doesn’t follow through.

And once you hear this enough – internally or externally – you begin to believe these statements as truth.

BUT in reality, this is not your true self. It might be true that you have failed an attempt to become more healthy. It might even be true you have failed multiple times on this path.

This is OK! It’s necessary for the process of change. You actually have to be the person who does not succeed in order to succeed.

Sound confusing? Let me break it down.
First, you have to recognize change is a process.

We tend to set a goal and see it in black and white, if I don’t get to X, I have failed. This could be getting to a particular weight, reaching a number of miles, faster time, or any other pin point you set for yourself.

It isn’t that you won’t get there, however, it might take you more stages than a single shot moment. You may have underestimated the work and effort or time it will take to reach your goal.

Second, you may need more information on how to make sure you are successful and that includes why you haven’t been successful in the past.

Maybe you are bored with your current lifestyle and want to find a new way to stay on track and re-energize your spirits.

This month we dropped a full workout for our newsletter crew members and last month they got a quick easy breakfast recipe packed with veggies, good fats, and solid protein to keep you fueled for the adventures in your life.

If these are interesting to you, sign up for our newsletter (in sidebar & footer) and become a Studio B-er, creating your best life full of the ABCs to great: Adventure, Brilliance, and Curiosity.

Batching food can be a life saver for busy weeks, and will help you stay on track even when you are tired. If that’s interesting to you check out last month’s video, link is below, on how to successfully batch food.

Now, back to failure and how SO many of us deal with this fear.

Fear often keeps us from fully engaging or even starting. This is why today, we are going to make sure this is not your experience any more!

We are going to talk about two things:
One, how to face this fear head on
and two, how to push it out of the way.

First, in order to face fear head on, we need be honest about the fear itself.

We often speak to it, but then want to move away from the uncomfortable feelings as soon as possible. Instead we want to embody our experiences. This means we want to feel the physical sensations of this emotion or thought.

All experiences start in the body and by examining them from an embodied place we become better at determining what we need to do in this moment.

This makes us better at making choices based on our internal wisdom, and helps us reach our goals.

The better we get at listening to our own knowing the less we quit looking outside ourselves for answers and the better we get at honoring our own bio-individuality.

This makes our workouts, meal plans, social experiences more healthy for us and easier to stick to. So embodied experience … makes us more successful in the long run.

We are going to break down how you can face this fear into three parts.

The first part is to start, allow yourself to feel your fear.

As you examine it, feel where it lives in your body. What are the physical sensations of it? Does it have a shape, a color, a dimension?

What thoughts come up when you feel it? Memories you have of past times you have failed in similar situations? Statements others have said to you about your progress or lack of it? Whose voice is it? And where do these thoughts and memories impact your body?

Do you feel tightness, tension, relaxed, hot, cold, heavy, light. We are looking for adjectives to describe your experience. You don’t have to figure out what or why you feel what you feel.

Part two: Where did the fail really happen.

It is likely that you didn’t fail at the whole thing, but at some point you quit doing what you needed to do to complete it. Or at least quit enough of the actions that it was not going to work out.

Look beyond the obvious and determine the layers of the failure. Did you fail on a logistical level, planning phases, or maybe unexpected events derailed you?

Really look at the whole process and notice where you were set up for success, and where you were not. Ask yourself, honestly, what did you really fail at?

Part three examine your fear of failing again now.

Does this fear come into play to help you make sure you do not have to work hard at your goal?

Does it allow you to continue a story about your life and your person that feels comfortable? How does it reinforce the identity you believe to be true about yourself?

Look at your relationships and see if holding this identity keeps you connected to others you care about?

For example, if you shift your exercise and lose weight does that disconnect you from your partner, best friend, family members?

Will the actions you have to take to be successful take you away from loved ones? Does this recognition, subconscious or consciously, result in criticism or undermining behavior by your loved one to get to go back to “normal” routines?

What about those who you have played small for? These are the folks that tear you down and hold you back. They are the ones that do not want to see you … or maybe anyone else succeed.

They may ridicule or even use verbal or emotional abuse to keep you in the powerless position so they can feel more powerful. They may be those you are afraid to confront or who have judged you in the past.

If you can, get far far away from them. Or at least keep them far, far away from your vulnerability and fear regarding your goals, hopes, and dreams. They are not a coach in your corner.

Now on to number two, how to push it out of the way.

Finally, it’s time to take the information you got from examining the 3 parts we just talked about and shift your focus.

Once we have accurate data to support what really happened in our past endeavors we can get really clear about how to do it differently this time. Some of the common one’s I hear are about planning problems, difficulties with family and friends, and lack of accountability.

Here are some questions and action steps you can take to shift the focus: 


If you have a planning problem ask yourself:

How can you plan differently this time? What part of your planning failed? How could you eliminate this issue now?

If you’re believing old mental tapes and other people’s judgment statements:

It is time to record some new material! Toss the negative nellies from your coaching circle and hype yourself up! You can find lots of inspiration online, through music, and watching or interacting with others working on a similar goal.

Or is it about your culture and loved ones feeling left behind by your goal attainment and success behaviors?

This example is more common than you think, if this is you maybe you need a good sit down and talk through your observations and feelings with them.

Maybe you can work on your schedule so that the activities you need to do to be successful work in and around your family and friend time.

Just remember, you have choices when it comes to what you eat at the potluck, which beverages you consume, and how much time you spend watching TV and sitting on the couch.

If there are activities you no longer what to do with friends and fam – like plow through a whole back of chips while kicking it on the couch or downing pints of beer over free peanuts it is time to come up with new active things you can do together or host the potluck at your house, bring a dish to share you know you can eat – even if it’s the only one you can eat.

Learn how to craft mocktails and sample non-alcoholic options to find what fits you. This is a growing market and is not your parents n/a beer. You might be surprised how popular your new beverage is at the party.

With some new, but fun options, you can join the party and enjoy reaching your goals at the same time.

These are the tools to face your fear head on and push it out of the way. But this blog post isn’t going to solve all your problems

In reality we all need help and support. It is an act of strength to ask for help.

When we are facing a situation where we really want to accomplish a new health goal, but feel plagued by past experiences and fear of failing at our efforts again, it may serve you best to hire a professional.

Gathering a dedicated team in your corner can be the difference between reaching your goal or failing again.

With a good coach or psychologist you have accountability.

You also have someone you can share your fear and shame with, who can help externally monitor your narrative to help you identify places you might be turning toward your old patterns.

People need other people. When we socialize our goals we are more likely to succeed.

If we only rely on our family and friends they may get burnt out by the efforts we need to put into our goals, the amount of time it will really take us to achieve our dreams, and the shifts we’ll have to make in old habits they might have a bias in maintaining.

Coaches can help you examine what didn’t work last time without your emotional ties.

If you feel like this will help you, check out our amazing professionals at Studio B. You can learn about us on our website, the link is below.

Coaches may be able to honestly take stock of what worked and what didn’t where you struggle to see any positives.

Plus, with their experience they can normalize your process, help you see common issues, and navigate around things you don’t even know are going to be obstacles.

Because they do this all the time they can share common pitfalls with you and help you avoid them all together.

In the end, success never comes without failure.

All the greats know this.

They openly speak about their failures because they know they are just points for learning how to succeed.

If you can take an objective view you will be able to learn from the parts that went wrong, change them based on your new learning, and capitalize on the parts that went well.

So if you are whispering to yourself the message that you are afraid of failing again and not moving toward your healthier self, it is time to take a moment to analyze your past behavior, address the issues, and apply the learning.

Look into hiring a solid support team to help hold you accountable and make your journey more effective and efficient.

Then remember … you’ve got this. It’s just another rung on your ladder. Each time you begin to climb it, you get a little further on your path.

5 Ways to Manifest Better Balance in Your Life.

Many of us work on trying to find balance by equally dividing our days and tasks. The problem with this is that not everything fits into equal parts. Instead look for congruence between your goals and actions to know you are living a balanced life.

Photo by Shiva Smyth from Pexels

Balance is not having a neat orderly life where everything fits just perfectly into each segment of your day. It’s about finding congruence in your thoughts, actions, and emotions. Then enjoying each of them to the max. 

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony”.

Mahatma Gandhi

Congruence creates a sense of alignment. Balance has many layers and alignment is one of them. Ultimately our goal is to find purposeful activities in our everyday life and get rid of those that are not serving us. This helps us feel alignment in our actions and beliefs. Which leads to a life full of joyful and inspired wellness.

Have you thought about how being out of balance might be effecting your efforts to be more physically healthy? 

For example: Does feeling imbalance, stress, overwhelm, collapse, or lethargic impact your food choices, your exercise habits, or your motivation and confidence levels?

Sometimes just noticing can be powerful. Noticing how imbalance in your life affects other choices, helps illuminate the choice that change is necessary. When you have necessity change becomes easier. 

After noticing how these imbalances are effecting you can you see ways to change and stop patterns of behavior? If not you are not alone.

Other times it may be incredibly difficult to change even though it becomes obvious you are self-defeating the hard work you are doing (or have done) to live more healthy. Also very common. If change change were easy everyone would be doing it much more often and I would be out of a job.

Once you have determined areas of your life you want to change it is easy to blame why you don’t change on others:

My kids need too much

My significant other doesn’t want to eat healthy

I have too much to do

I am taking care of my parents

the list could go on …

The bottom line is change is hard, there is a reason you are caught in the patterns you are caught in, and if you really want your life to look different you will have to figure out ways to make differences happen. Small steps can make that happen.

Here are some ideas to get you started.

  1. Write down your goals. This is so important and so many skip this step. They have the image or idea of the big goal, but without getting it out of their heads and into their daily life change is not going to happen. Writing it down helps solidify and shift focus so we can determine the smalls steps that break down the big goal. 
  1. Delegate. Are there jobs you do (laundry, cleaning, cooking, errands, car pooling) that others could do. Hint: they will do it differently than you and that is ok.
  1. Create Some Boundaries. Do you need to tell people no more often – “no I can’t cook X for the upcoming pot-luck”, “no I can’t coach soccer this fall”. Get clear about what you want. This is critical to honoring yourself and others in your actions. Be kind, open, and honest when turning down offers and be ready for resistance from people who are used to hearing yes.
  1. Create a Goal Poster. Clip pictures of your life vision and set the intention to achieve them. Place it where you will see it often everyday.
  1. Commit to Live with Intention. In each moment ask yourself if this is what you want to be doing or thinking and honestly listen for the answer. When you find yourself answering no decide what you do want to be doing and make efforts to move in that direction. This is not a suggestion to shrink from life responsibilities. All of us would rather be doing something else at times but by listening to what you would rather be doing you begin to see a pattern of what is working and what is not working in your life. By visualizing what you want you are better able to recognize activities which might move you in that direction. In doing those activities more often you are more likely to get the life you want one step at a time.

And if you feel pretty balanced right now you may want to think about strategies to keep it that way. Life has a tendency to cycle and the more tools you have in your toolshed the better able you will be to handle any curve ball thrown at you.

Today make the first step by deciding it is time for a change and taking action on the 5 steps above to get started. 

The goal of Dr. Stacy Reuille-Dupont is to help you live a life of contentment and peace, excitement and energy while living an embodied life. Feel free to request an appointment today!

Caregivers Need to Care for Themselves, Too

Here are some tips from Dr. Stacy to help caregivers give their best while also taking care of themselves.

Guest Post by Alexis Hall, Image via Pexels

If you’re a family caregiver or informal caregiver, you know the role can be intense. You may be working, caring for a loved one, and giving attention to children and other family members. It can be hard to care for an individual with cognitive decline or whose health status may change daily. Unlike paid caregivers, your duties may include personal care, meal prep, and housekeeping. Change is constant and stressful, so self-care is vital for caregivers. 

Caregivers Often Neglect Their Own Needs

The age range for caregivers is 45 to 64 years old, so many are also working and raising children. Multiple obligations can cause caregivers to neglect personal health. They don’t have time to keep medical appointments or exercise regularly. They may have given up on socializing. Unpaid caregivers often experience poor health and are also at increased risk fordepression. As a caregiver, it’s essential you adopt behaviors to protect your health and well-being.

Make Personal Health Care a Priority

A caregiver who fails to keep health care appointments may develop conditions that endanger their health. The stress of going in many directions can lead to hypertension, a silent killer. Untreated hypertension or high blood pressure can lead to heart disease, stroke, and kidney damage. The only way caregivers can know whether they have health issues is to visit a health care provider regularly for checkups.

Choose Healthy Foods

Caregivers typically ensure those around them are well-fed, but they frequently eat hurriedly or miss meals. Eating healthy foods, such as fruits and vegetables, lean protein, and whole grains, supplies the body with the energy and nutrients needed to function and fight disease. Keeping nutritious snacks on hand, drinking lots of water, and preparing foods like soups and stews in advance can make it easier to eat well and also offer more time to enjoy food and conversation with your loved one.

Find Time to Move

Exercise is planned physical activities that help an individual reach a fitness goal. Physical activity includes unplanned activities that promote health and fitness. It can be challenging to get to a fitness center several days each week, but there are alternatives. Digging weeds from a garden, washing a car, and walking the dog are other ways to be active. When approached vigorously, these activities burn calories and fat while strengthening joints and muscles. Taking a walk with a friend or neighbor is an excellent way to get a workout, relieve stress, socialize, and avoid isolation.

Track Your Movement

A fitness tracker or smartwatch makes it easy to keep up your exercise or physical activity efforts. You can track your heart rate during workouts, as well as calories burned, and set goals to help you get the most of your physical activity. Maintain your smartwatch by replacing the band, and add a screen protector to keep it easy to read and unblemished.

A Healthy Caregiver Is a Better Caregiver

Becoming a healthier caregiver will benefit not only you but also your loved one. Be a better caregiver by taking care of yourself first. Remember: like your clients, you deserve to live your best life.

Dr. Stacy is a licensed psychologist, licensed addiction counselor, certified personal trainer, and certified nutrition coach. Please reach out to request an appointment at Studio B.

Good Morning 2022! What will you create this year? How to keep your Focus and Build the Life You Want. 

I love this day. It’s often the only day I allow myself to wear my pajamas all day and do nothing … or not.

For some reason on the 1st day of the year I have a lot more grace with myself.

This year I’m going to create more bliss and balance in my life. I’m going to take the grace I often give myself on the 1st day of the year and extend that into other days sprinkled throughout.

Living a life with meaning has a lot to do with the ability to balance your priorities and joy. In the clinic we see so many people who are sad or angry because their lives lack purpose and meaning.

Here’s 3 tips on how to stay focused and crush your 2022 goals.

Photo Credit: Photo by Marisol Benitez on Unsplash

On New Year’s Day most of us figure out some resolutions – changes we want to make and things we want to let go of. Then we get busy hyper-focusing on them. 

My time managing fitness centers taught me that by Feb 14th we would have enough towels, lockers, and parking spaces again. People burned out on their focus and quit those new years’s goals within 6 weeks of making them. 

READ MORE ON THE BLOG: 

Healthy Eating Made Easy

3 Ways to Bring Joy to Your Fitness. Fitness is a Feeling

Ground Hog Day in Your Life? The pain of staying the same or the pain of change? 7 Steps to master moving your life forward for the better.

Over the years, I learned a few things to make sure that burned out shooting star is not what I do:

1st – Sustainable change happens in small steps. Research shows solid consistent change in about 10% increments is the most predictable sign that someone will really shift their lifestyle. Sometimes it is hard to get started you can sign up with a coach, online program, or even do therapy focused activities at home.

2nd – Tracking works. I can hear your groans. Many of my clients are very audible when I bring this up. However, again research shows us that by just tracking your current behavior you will change it. Begin just counting how many times / day you do X behavior. 

It can be one you want to let go of or one you want to increase. Just becoming aware of what you are currently doing and why (triggers for that behavior) will shift your consciousness around it.

Consciousness is the first step to change. 

3rd – Be compassionate, toward yourself and others. You know I love this statement … research shows … compassion is a bigger driver of successful change than castigation.

However, many of us were taught to use shame and punishment to impact someone’s (including our own) behaviors. 

The reality is, it just doesn’t work as well as kindness and love

Find that place of feeling content and appreciated for what you have accomplished thus far, even if you feel that’s only .1% of your life. It’s from this place of feeling cherished that you will make the most progress toward your goals. 

As we turn the corner on another year, enjoy your day, your people, and whatever activities you  have planned to being the new year. 

Here’s to a healthier you in 2022! 

Ways to Thrive As You Recover From Tough Times

By being in recovery, you have accomplished something that many never do — you’ve recognized the need to change your life and turned away from the bad stuff. When in recovery, you must take several steps to thrive and lead a healthier life. Hand in hand with services from Stacy Reuille-Dupont, here are more steps you can take to continue on your progress.

Photo via Pixabay

Guest Post by: Melissa Howard from stopsuicide.info

Reaching out

Know that you shouldn’t have to rely wholly on yourself. In order to thrive in your new life, it’s crucial to have a positive support network you can rely on. Counselors, mentors, friends, and family members can all serve as a network to help you when they are feeling vulnerable or alone. 

Repairing broken relationships

As you struggled, you may have been left with damaged relationships. With your recovery, you may find yourself with the overwhelming task of reaching out to those you may have hurt. While not every relationship is salvageable, it’s still possible to mend broken relationships, so don’t lose hope.

Removing triggers

A trigger is anything in your life that initiates the desire to return to negative behavior. When you are in recovery, it’s important to eliminate triggers from your environment that can cause you to slip back into your old ways. Triggers are linked to memories or situations and may include smells, stress, specific people, places, and dates. To remove triggers from your life, you may need to leave old relationships behind, switch careers, or even move to a new area of town. 

In order to begin the process of removing triggers from your home, it’s important to get help. Ask a friend, relative, or professional to assist you in removing everything that you associate with your previous lifestyle. Then, give the space a good cleaning. Scent can be a powerful trigger, so wash all linens, window coverings, and clothes in a new laundry detergent with a different scent than you’re used to.

Rejuvenating your body

Regular physical activity can help those in recovery avoid slipping back to their old ways of life. Vigorous physical activity releases chemicals called endorphins, which alleviate pain and cause feelings of happiness. When you incorporate regular exercise into your routines, you’ll find that you can experience natural joy, decreasing the need to turn to destructive behavior.

Look into practices like meditation, reiki, and yoga to promote the healthy flow of energy through your body. In a nutshell, a balanced flow brings health while an interruption of this flow can bring about illness and the like. By balancing your chakras, you not only heal your body but your life as a whole.

Reinventing yourself

When you’re stuck in a rut, sometimes the best way to pull yourself out is by throwing yourself into an exciting new project. If you have an entrepreneurial side, this could mean starting your own side hustle for supplemental income or even building a business from the ground up. By focusing on a new career move, you’ll be able to channel your energy into something productive.

Know that starting a business means tackling a long to-do list, so you have to be up to the task and challenge. Along with coming up with a unique name for your company, forming an LLC is one of the first items that you can take care of. This is one way to keep your personal assets secure and earn some helpful tax deductions. If you’re not sure how to start this process, connect with a budget-friendly online formation service for assistance.

Yes, you can thrive in health and recovery by keeping in touch with your support network and acknowledging triggers in your lives. Changing your life is a gradual process — it doesn’t happen overnight. But by avoiding triggers, incorporating a healthy lifestyle, and pursuing positive activities, you can pave the way for a successful future. 

Let Studio B Professionals help you along in your journey to recovery. Book a therapy, personal training, nutrition, or wellness coaching session today. 970-422-1761