3 Ways to Instantly Overcome Fear of Failing.

I am afraid of failing … Again! This is something I hear from my clients who are working hard to reach their health goals all the time. It is part of why they are in my office in the first place.

Sometimes I even hear it from myself.

But why do we say this? What causes us to say we are going to fail?

Two words: Confidence and discipline.

Photo by Nathan Cowley

We know what we need to do but those two things get in the way, and we start to tell ourselves we will fail. We tell ourselves about our past failures and begin to create a narrative that supports an identity of a person who doesn’t succeed, doesn’t get things done, and doesn’t follow through.

And once you hear this enough – internally or externally – you begin to believe these statements as truth.

BUT in reality, this is not your true self. It might be true that you have failed an attempt to become more healthy. It might even be true you have failed multiple times on this path.

This is OK! It’s necessary for the process of change. You actually have to be the person who does not succeed in order to succeed.

Sound confusing? Let me break it down.
First, you have to recognize change is a process.

We tend to set a goal and see it in black and white, if I don’t get to X, I have failed. This could be getting to a particular weight, reaching a number of miles, faster time, or any other pin point you set for yourself.

It isn’t that you won’t get there, however, it might take you more stages than a single shot moment. You may have underestimated the work and effort or time it will take to reach your goal.

Second, you may need more information on how to make sure you are successful and that includes why you haven’t been successful in the past.

Maybe you are bored with your current lifestyle and want to find a new way to stay on track and re-energize your spirits.

This month we dropped a full workout for our newsletter crew members and last month they got a quick easy breakfast recipe packed with veggies, good fats, and solid protein to keep you fueled for the adventures in your life.

If these are interesting to you, sign up for our newsletter (in sidebar & footer) and become a Studio B-er, creating your best life full of the ABCs to great: Adventure, Brilliance, and Curiosity.

Batching food can be a life saver for busy weeks, and will help you stay on track even when you are tired. If that’s interesting to you check out last month’s video, link is below, on how to successfully batch food.

Now, back to failure and how SO many of us deal with this fear.

Fear often keeps us from fully engaging or even starting. This is why today, we are going to make sure this is not your experience any more!

We are going to talk about two things:
One, how to face this fear head on
and two, how to push it out of the way.

First, in order to face fear head on, we need be honest about the fear itself.

We often speak to it, but then want to move away from the uncomfortable feelings as soon as possible. Instead we want to embody our experiences. This means we want to feel the physical sensations of this emotion or thought.

All experiences start in the body and by examining them from an embodied place we become better at determining what we need to do in this moment.

This makes us better at making choices based on our internal wisdom, and helps us reach our goals.

The better we get at listening to our own knowing the less we quit looking outside ourselves for answers and the better we get at honoring our own bio-individuality.

This makes our workouts, meal plans, social experiences more healthy for us and easier to stick to. So embodied experience … makes us more successful in the long run.

We are going to break down how you can face this fear into three parts.

The first part is to start, allow yourself to feel your fear.

As you examine it, feel where it lives in your body. What are the physical sensations of it? Does it have a shape, a color, a dimension?

What thoughts come up when you feel it? Memories you have of past times you have failed in similar situations? Statements others have said to you about your progress or lack of it? Whose voice is it? And where do these thoughts and memories impact your body?

Do you feel tightness, tension, relaxed, hot, cold, heavy, light. We are looking for adjectives to describe your experience. You don’t have to figure out what or why you feel what you feel.

Part two: Where did the fail really happen.

It is likely that you didn’t fail at the whole thing, but at some point you quit doing what you needed to do to complete it. Or at least quit enough of the actions that it was not going to work out.

Look beyond the obvious and determine the layers of the failure. Did you fail on a logistical level, planning phases, or maybe unexpected events derailed you?

Really look at the whole process and notice where you were set up for success, and where you were not. Ask yourself, honestly, what did you really fail at?

Part three examine your fear of failing again now.

Does this fear come into play to help you make sure you do not have to work hard at your goal?

Does it allow you to continue a story about your life and your person that feels comfortable? How does it reinforce the identity you believe to be true about yourself?

Look at your relationships and see if holding this identity keeps you connected to others you care about?

For example, if you shift your exercise and lose weight does that disconnect you from your partner, best friend, family members?

Will the actions you have to take to be successful take you away from loved ones? Does this recognition, subconscious or consciously, result in criticism or undermining behavior by your loved one to get to go back to “normal” routines?

What about those who you have played small for? These are the folks that tear you down and hold you back. They are the ones that do not want to see you … or maybe anyone else succeed.

They may ridicule or even use verbal or emotional abuse to keep you in the powerless position so they can feel more powerful. They may be those you are afraid to confront or who have judged you in the past.

If you can, get far far away from them. Or at least keep them far, far away from your vulnerability and fear regarding your goals, hopes, and dreams. They are not a coach in your corner.

Now on to number two, how to push it out of the way.

Finally, it’s time to take the information you got from examining the 3 parts we just talked about and shift your focus.

Once we have accurate data to support what really happened in our past endeavors we can get really clear about how to do it differently this time. Some of the common one’s I hear are about planning problems, difficulties with family and friends, and lack of accountability.

Here are some questions and action steps you can take to shift the focus: 


If you have a planning problem ask yourself:

How can you plan differently this time? What part of your planning failed? How could you eliminate this issue now?

If you’re believing old mental tapes and other people’s judgment statements:

It is time to record some new material! Toss the negative nellies from your coaching circle and hype yourself up! You can find lots of inspiration online, through music, and watching or interacting with others working on a similar goal.

Or is it about your culture and loved ones feeling left behind by your goal attainment and success behaviors?

This example is more common than you think, if this is you maybe you need a good sit down and talk through your observations and feelings with them.

Maybe you can work on your schedule so that the activities you need to do to be successful work in and around your family and friend time.

Just remember, you have choices when it comes to what you eat at the potluck, which beverages you consume, and how much time you spend watching TV and sitting on the couch.

If there are activities you no longer what to do with friends and fam – like plow through a whole back of chips while kicking it on the couch or downing pints of beer over free peanuts it is time to come up with new active things you can do together or host the potluck at your house, bring a dish to share you know you can eat – even if it’s the only one you can eat.

Learn how to craft mocktails and sample non-alcoholic options to find what fits you. This is a growing market and is not your parents n/a beer. You might be surprised how popular your new beverage is at the party.

With some new, but fun options, you can join the party and enjoy reaching your goals at the same time.

These are the tools to face your fear head on and push it out of the way. But this blog post isn’t going to solve all your problems

In reality we all need help and support. It is an act of strength to ask for help.

When we are facing a situation where we really want to accomplish a new health goal, but feel plagued by past experiences and fear of failing at our efforts again, it may serve you best to hire a professional.

Gathering a dedicated team in your corner can be the difference between reaching your goal or failing again.

With a good coach or psychologist you have accountability.

You also have someone you can share your fear and shame with, who can help externally monitor your narrative to help you identify places you might be turning toward your old patterns.

People need other people. When we socialize our goals we are more likely to succeed.

If we only rely on our family and friends they may get burnt out by the efforts we need to put into our goals, the amount of time it will really take us to achieve our dreams, and the shifts we’ll have to make in old habits they might have a bias in maintaining.

Coaches can help you examine what didn’t work last time without your emotional ties.

If you feel like this will help you, check out our amazing professionals at Studio B. You can learn about us on our website, the link is below.

Coaches may be able to honestly take stock of what worked and what didn’t where you struggle to see any positives.

Plus, with their experience they can normalize your process, help you see common issues, and navigate around things you don’t even know are going to be obstacles.

Because they do this all the time they can share common pitfalls with you and help you avoid them all together.

In the end, success never comes without failure.

All the greats know this.

They openly speak about their failures because they know they are just points for learning how to succeed.

If you can take an objective view you will be able to learn from the parts that went wrong, change them based on your new learning, and capitalize on the parts that went well.

So if you are whispering to yourself the message that you are afraid of failing again and not moving toward your healthier self, it is time to take a moment to analyze your past behavior, address the issues, and apply the learning.

Look into hiring a solid support team to help hold you accountable and make your journey more effective and efficient.

Then remember … you’ve got this. It’s just another rung on your ladder. Each time you begin to climb it, you get a little further on your path.

5 Ways to Manifest Better Balance in Your Life.

Many of us work on trying to find balance by equally dividing our days and tasks. The problem with this is that not everything fits into equal parts. Instead look for congruence between your goals and actions to know you are living a balanced life.

Photo by Shiva Smyth from Pexels

Balance is not having a neat orderly life where everything fits just perfectly into each segment of your day. It’s about finding congruence in your thoughts, actions, and emotions. Then enjoying each of them to the max. 

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony”.

Mahatma Gandhi

Congruence creates a sense of alignment. Balance has many layers and alignment is one of them. Ultimately our goal is to find purposeful activities in our everyday life and get rid of those that are not serving us. This helps us feel alignment in our actions and beliefs. Which leads to a life full of joyful and inspired wellness.

Have you thought about how being out of balance might be effecting your efforts to be more physically healthy? 

For example: Does feeling imbalance, stress, overwhelm, collapse, or lethargic impact your food choices, your exercise habits, or your motivation and confidence levels?

Sometimes just noticing can be powerful. Noticing how imbalance in your life affects other choices, helps illuminate the choice that change is necessary. When you have necessity change becomes easier. 

After noticing how these imbalances are effecting you can you see ways to change and stop patterns of behavior? If not you are not alone.

Other times it may be incredibly difficult to change even though it becomes obvious you are self-defeating the hard work you are doing (or have done) to live more healthy. Also very common. If change change were easy everyone would be doing it much more often and I would be out of a job.

Once you have determined areas of your life you want to change it is easy to blame why you don’t change on others:

My kids need too much

My significant other doesn’t want to eat healthy

I have too much to do

I am taking care of my parents

the list could go on …

The bottom line is change is hard, there is a reason you are caught in the patterns you are caught in, and if you really want your life to look different you will have to figure out ways to make differences happen. Small steps can make that happen.

Here are some ideas to get you started.

  1. Write down your goals. This is so important and so many skip this step. They have the image or idea of the big goal, but without getting it out of their heads and into their daily life change is not going to happen. Writing it down helps solidify and shift focus so we can determine the smalls steps that break down the big goal. 
  1. Delegate. Are there jobs you do (laundry, cleaning, cooking, errands, car pooling) that others could do. Hint: they will do it differently than you and that is ok.
  1. Create Some Boundaries. Do you need to tell people no more often – “no I can’t cook X for the upcoming pot-luck”, “no I can’t coach soccer this fall”. Get clear about what you want. This is critical to honoring yourself and others in your actions. Be kind, open, and honest when turning down offers and be ready for resistance from people who are used to hearing yes.
  1. Create a Goal Poster. Clip pictures of your life vision and set the intention to achieve them. Place it where you will see it often everyday.
  1. Commit to Live with Intention. In each moment ask yourself if this is what you want to be doing or thinking and honestly listen for the answer. When you find yourself answering no decide what you do want to be doing and make efforts to move in that direction. This is not a suggestion to shrink from life responsibilities. All of us would rather be doing something else at times but by listening to what you would rather be doing you begin to see a pattern of what is working and what is not working in your life. By visualizing what you want you are better able to recognize activities which might move you in that direction. In doing those activities more often you are more likely to get the life you want one step at a time.

And if you feel pretty balanced right now you may want to think about strategies to keep it that way. Life has a tendency to cycle and the more tools you have in your toolshed the better able you will be to handle any curve ball thrown at you.

Today make the first step by deciding it is time for a change and taking action on the 5 steps above to get started. 

The goal of Dr. Stacy Reuille-Dupont is to help you live a life of contentment and peace, excitement and energy while living an embodied life. Feel free to request an appointment today!

Time for a Change? 5 Ways to Transform Your Life

Have you been feeling stagnant and stuck lately?

Sometimes, we all need to change things up to feel motivated again – especially when we’ve spent the last year coping with a worldwide pandemic.

Guest Post by Phillip Carr, Photo Source: Unsplash

If you’re unhappy with where you are now or the direction your life is headed, you always have the opportunity to try something new. 

The idea of shifting your habits and routines can seem daunting, but if you focus on small, achievable goals, you’ll be surprised at how easily you adapt.

You may not notice a difference overnight, but with time, patience, and dedication, psychologist Stacy Reuille-Dupontbelieves that taking these steps to transform your life will pay off. 

Get in Shape

Finding a sport that suits your interests and lifestyle makes exercising feel like fun rather than a chore. After a couple of months of exercising regularly, you’ll have more endurance, you’ll sleep better, and you’ll definitely tone up. 

Starting a fitness routine doesn’t have to mean lifting weights or running miles every morning.

In addition to weights, exercise bikes, and treadmills, joining a gym typically gives you access to lots of classes, like pilates and yoga. 

If you’d prefer to work out at home or you’re simply looking to save a little money by forgoing a gym membership, you still have plenty of options when it comes to exercising.

For example, you can follow along to workout videos on your TV with a streaming device.

Find some channels and apps featuring instructors you like, and it can feel like you have a personal trainer in your living room!

To boost your motivation, you can also put together custom workout playlists to stream while you exercise.

Choose an easy-to-use streaming device so you can flip through channels and songs effortlessly while you work out.

High quality yoga accessories at great prices - YogaAccessories.com!
Cook Healthy Meals

Working out is just one aspect of living a healthier lifestyle.

Stocking your pantry with healthy staples and committing to cooking most nights rather than eating out can have a significant positive impact on your physical and mental health.

Packaged, processed food and restaurant meals are often loaded with excess sugar and sodium.

You don’t have to be a skilled chef to whip up tasty, nutritious meals – with a little practice, you’ll have the basics mastered in no time. 

Not sure where to begin? Harvard Health Publishing suggests incorporating more fruits, vegetables, nuts, and whole grains into your diet.

Next, experiment with new recipes that combine ingredients you already love and find healthier alternatives to dishes you enjoy.

You’ll have more energy on a daily basis, and you’ll save money in the process!

Make a Budget

Want to take control of your financial future? Creating a realistic budget that helps you stay on track to your savings goals is the first step.

With countless apps that help you watch your spending, sticking to a budget has never been easier. 

If you’re ready to figure out your personal budget, begin by taking stock of all of your necessary expenses, like rent, utilities, insurance, and other monthly bills.

Next, account for eating out, shopping, and getting drinks with friends.

Look for ways you can save money each month, such as:

  1. Refinance loan rates remain low, so now is the perfect time to lower your monthly payments.
  2. Reducing the number of services you subscribe to. For example, if you use Netflix and Hulu more often than you watch live TV, it might make sense to cancel or cut down your cable package.
  3. Cutting down on your grocery budget. As noted above, eating an excessive amount of packaged foods can impact your physical and mental health – and buying them can put a dent in your wallet.

Any ancillary funds you can save can be put toward a long-term savings or emergency account.

Having this financial cushion will give you peace of mind right away, not to mention in the event you need to use it.

Talk to a Therapist

If you’ve been struggling with depression or anxiety and your symptoms are holding you back from living the life you really want, it’s time to talk to a therapist.

A therapist can help you understand why you feel the way you do and teach you coping strategies that will help you manage your stress and move beyond depression. 

It may take a little while to find a therapist who is right for you.

Begin your search by looking up providers in your area, and make a few phone calls to schedule your first session.

Committing to therapy for even just a few months can dramatically transform your mindset. 

When you decide to take responsibility for your path in life and move confidently toward your goals, gradual changes are the key to lasting success.

With the right tools and support, you have the power to transform your life. 

If you are looking to optimize your life book your FREE consultation session now.

Good Morning 2022! What will you create this year? How to keep your Focus and Build the Life You Want. 

I love this day. It’s often the only day I allow myself to wear my pajamas all day and do nothing … or not.

For some reason on the 1st day of the year I have a lot more grace with myself.

This year I’m going to create more bliss and balance in my life. I’m going to take the grace I often give myself on the 1st day of the year and extend that into other days sprinkled throughout.

Living a life with meaning has a lot to do with the ability to balance your priorities and joy. In the clinic we see so many people who are sad or angry because their lives lack purpose and meaning.

Here’s 3 tips on how to stay focused and crush your 2022 goals.

Photo Credit: Photo by Marisol Benitez on Unsplash

On New Year’s Day most of us figure out some resolutions – changes we want to make and things we want to let go of. Then we get busy hyper-focusing on them. 

My time managing fitness centers taught me that by Feb 14th we would have enough towels, lockers, and parking spaces again. People burned out on their focus and quit those new years’s goals within 6 weeks of making them. 

READ MORE ON THE BLOG: 

Healthy Eating Made Easy

3 Ways to Bring Joy to Your Fitness. Fitness is a Feeling

Ground Hog Day in Your Life? The pain of staying the same or the pain of change? 7 Steps to master moving your life forward for the better.

Over the years, I learned a few things to make sure that burned out shooting star is not what I do:

1st – Sustainable change happens in small steps. Research shows solid consistent change in about 10% increments is the most predictable sign that someone will really shift their lifestyle. Sometimes it is hard to get started you can sign up with a coach, online program, or even do therapy focused activities at home.

2nd – Tracking works. I can hear your groans. Many of my clients are very audible when I bring this up. However, again research shows us that by just tracking your current behavior you will change it. Begin just counting how many times / day you do X behavior. 

It can be one you want to let go of or one you want to increase. Just becoming aware of what you are currently doing and why (triggers for that behavior) will shift your consciousness around it.

Consciousness is the first step to change. 

3rd – Be compassionate, toward yourself and others. You know I love this statement … research shows … compassion is a bigger driver of successful change than castigation.

However, many of us were taught to use shame and punishment to impact someone’s (including our own) behaviors. 

The reality is, it just doesn’t work as well as kindness and love

Find that place of feeling content and appreciated for what you have accomplished thus far, even if you feel that’s only .1% of your life. It’s from this place of feeling cherished that you will make the most progress toward your goals. 

As we turn the corner on another year, enjoy your day, your people, and whatever activities you  have planned to being the new year. 

Here’s to a healthier you in 2022! 

Free Yourself to Improve Your Life By Cutting Out These Habits

There is no shortage of literature that revolves around actions you can take to improve your life. But what if sometimes we need to be focusing on the habits and mindsets that we should eliminate? By stopping negative actions we have … read more

Guest Post by: Dorothy Watson of the Mental Wellness Center

Image via Unsplash

… become accustomed to, we can free ourselves to make meaningful strides toward health, wellness, and joy. Stacy Reuille-Dupont, Ph.D. has listed some practical things that you can stop doing today so that you can make room for a better you!

Staying at an Unfulfilling Job

First of all, you spend a lot of your life at work. So, if you hate your job, chances are it is having a negative impact on your life. Whether your job is boring, not accommodating your talents or desires, or simply too stressful, make a change now. 

These days, you can get a college degree while still balancing the other responsibilities in your life. Taking online courses will help you boost your career prospects and give you the flexibility you need to focus on family, work, and other commitments. For instance, pursuing a bachelor of science in business, information technology, or health administration could open up all kinds of opportunities for your future. Just make sure that any online school you consider is accredited and offers competitive tuition costs. 

Waiting to Get Started

Too many people wait to make meaningful changes in their lives until there is no longer an opportunity to make them. Don’t wait for your situation or circumstances to be perfect before you change your career, try a new hobby, start a family, or make other moves. If you wait for the stars to align, you may find yourself looking back at missed opportunities. 

Skipping Over Your Own Needs

Did you know that you could be a great parent, family member, friend, and citizen without living to please others? Taking care of your needs does not make you selfish. Each of us has a unique personality and chemical makeup, which means that none of us have the same exact needs. Make time to relax, recharge, and navigate any mental, emotional, and physical health issues that are keeping you from reaching your goals.

Not Taking Care of Your Health     

This bad habit sort of falls in line with the previous one. You must carve out time in your daily schedule to foster your mental, emotional, and physical health. Make sure you are exercising at least five days a week and eating a nutritious, balanced diet. Also, come up with a bedtime routine that helps you get at least seven hours of sleep each night. There are strong links between our psychology and physiology, and making simple strides toward better exercise, eating, and sleeping routines can do wonders for all-around health. 

Dwelling on the Past or Future

One of the hardest things to do in life is to embrace the present. Each of us has made mistakes and experienced moments in the past which we wish would have gone differently. However, other than learning lessons, it does no good to dwell on the past. And at the same time, you shouldn’t try to predict the outcomes of the future. If you want to dream about what’s to come, focus on envisioning your goals rather than fantasizing about unrealistic circumstances.

Neglecting to Get Help

If you live with depression, anxiety, ADHD, or any other mental health issues, you are not alone. There are many more people throughout the world that deal with similar conditions. There are so many, in fact, that there are professionals who dedicate their life’s work to helping individuals navigate such issues. Don’t be afraid of reaching out for help. If you are ready to transform your life and receive the guidance you need for navigating the challenges ahead, connect with a mental health professional like Stacy Reuille-Dupont today!

Sometimes, self-improvement is being proactive about eliminating harmful behaviors or thoughts. If you relate to any of the habits above, start making the changes you need to make right now. And always be open to other ways you can develop healthy habits and mindsets that will keep you on track to becoming a better you!

Would you like to read more helpful content or learn about how Studio B is helping our clients through a wide array of physical and mental health issues? Visit stacyrd.com today!