| ahhhh … Balance
Balance, such an elusive idea. One many crave and few say they’ve found in their lives. What would your life look like if you had life balance?
Can you describe it in detail?
People often describe being in balance as being able to have both the light & the dark, the joy & the sadness, the drive & the rest. Many describe how living “in balance” (think 50/50 between doing & being) would be so wonderful, yet continue to live and behave with most of their eggs on one end of the continuum. This often leads to overcompensating and losing sight of one’s healthy living goals. Now you are just swinging from one end of the pendulum to the other, and neither end, no matter how righteous, is living balanced.
dictionary.com gives two definitions of balance I think fit well into the concept of life balance. One is: mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc. and the other: the power or ability to decide an outcome by throwing one’s strength, influence, support, or the like, to one side or the other. Let’s apply those to your life. If you looked at the last few days, would your life meet that definition? Where are you in balance? Not in balance? Where could you decrease or add items to create more balance? From here planning comes in.
Planning includes getting really focused. Ask yourself what’s one thing you could do today to increase your ability to experience life balance? Now get really focused on this item. See yourself engaged in it, completing it, how you will feel after you’ve accomplished it, how others are impacted by your behavior. Write it down, draw a picture, find a word, create a sounds or movement to represent it. Move, say, or carry your symbol of this change with you and use it often. Keep your mind singularly focused on your goal, not the problems. According to Feng, Schwemmer, Gershman, and Cohen (2014) “people are famously poor at multitasking control-demanding behaviors; they are often able to execute only a few, and sometimes no more than one at a time” (p.129) due to engaging multiple process pathways that reduce flexibility and efficiency completing tasks. Basically, where we put our focus drives what we focus on. Focusing on the problem then leads to focusing more on the problem. If you want positive change focus on the solution. Based on this model of focus you are more likely to stick to, complete your goal, and find more opportunities to support your positive change.
Feng, S. f., Schwemmer, M., Gershman, S. J., & Cohen, J. d. (2014). Multitasking versus multiplexing: Toward a normative account of limitations in the simultaneous execution
of control-demanding behaviors. Cognitive Affective & Behavioral Neuroscience, 14, 129-146. DOI 10.3758/s13415-013-0236-9
Here’s a worksheet to get you started:
Where are you not in balance?
Home? Work? Intimate relationships? Friendships? Role as a parent, adult child, sibling, wife, mother, father, husband, etc? Spiritual?
Where could decrease or add items to create more balance?
How will you engaged in this new behavior?
How will you know when you are doing it or have completed it?
Imagine yourself completing your goal, how will you feel?
How will your loved ones, friends, co-workers, dog, etc be impacted by your positive change?
What symbol will you use to help you remember you are practicing this new behavior, thought, emotional response? Find your symbol, carry it with you, and use it often.
A picture, word, sound, movement? Describe it, paste it, or draw it here.