So many get hung up on what happened yesterday, last month, last year, 10,20,50 years ago. They spend their energy focused on what went wrong. Instead focus on what is going right. Focus on on what you want. Spend your time creating a life you love, want, and desire instead of focusing on what is not working in your life, with people around you, or in the world. Spend your energy wisely.
Our thinking determines our focus. Take 2 people in a horrific situation and they can have 2 very different perceptions of the experience. You control how you respond to any given moment in your life – good, bad, wanted, or unwanted – you are in control of your perception. If you shift your perception you have the opportunity to change how you experience the situation. Doesn’t mean you have to like it, want it, approve of it, agree with it – just means it is the one you are are in and you are controlling the way you show up to deal with it.
Pain is bi-directional it runs from the body to the mind or the mind to the body. We can interrupt these signals and you will not feel as much or any pain. In a meta-analysis of studies examining how our brains register pain Apkarian, Bushness, Treede, and Zubieta (2004) found evidence for using distraction as a non-medical pain management treatment. Participants in the studies reviewed had decreased rates of pain when distracted in a variety of activities (activities were dependent on study performed).
If you are a person who lives with chronic pain what methods have you employed to help yourself shift perspective, accept, and create a life that meets your needs now? So many who experience chronic pain feel dejected, disappointed, and angered when medical treatments fail, and they are unable to reduce their pain with pharmaceuticals. Pills are estimated to be about 40% effective with pain states (Turk and Winter, 2014). They are miracles for certain types of pain and negligible for others. If you are someone who has hit a wall with medical treatments, are tired of the side effects (drowsiness, lack of engagement, constipation, stomach/digestive issues, brain fog/cognitive decline) it may be time to look into options for non-medical pain management supports.
Many find relief using a combination of treatment models, acceptance, and perception change. Psychological treatments can be helpful in these areas. They can support the medical prescriptions while supporting behavioral changes, processing the grief and loss the pain has created, and help build a new paradigm for successful living with the physical changes.
Pain is an interesting signal. It is here to help us pay attention. Sometimes our signals get crossed. We find pain in situations that are not physical, yet feel physically painful – the broken heart, gut response, or goosebumps rising. Physical and emotional pain run on the same circuits and there are a variety of options for treating it. Use your mind to help your body. Seek psychological treatment for chronic pain states.
Are working hard to make life changes only to feel defeated by those around you or yourself? It may be time to look beneath the surface of the change process and find the deeper meaning in the struggle.
For each obstacle from Thursday’s change plan worksheet consider 2-3 options for coping with each on the way to your goal.
Maybe it is changing location, moving away from particular people at a party, going a new way to work, having dinner at a different time, saying a particular phrase, etc. There are many ways to address and deal with your challenges – and they will come up. So plan to meet them with grace and confidence.
The Spirituality of Change
This brings an aspect of living your essence and spirituality. As you work on changing, you must face yourself – sometimes this is the hardest person to face. You must take an honest look at who you are and who you want to be. Then do the difficult work of change. Through this process we often find parts of ourselves we do not like, want around, or understand. It is in facing these aspects of our being that we become a better version of ourselves. If you find yourself lost in the struggle, it may be worth finding a support system for your change process – a group, class, or therapist to help you navigate the steps and set you up for the best possible results.
Finding your voice
Sometimes explaining your desire to change to others is hard. Sometimes they work against you – like crabs in a bucket, pulling you back into old patterns and behaviors. Remember, you do not have to explain your changes to anyone else. You do not have to justify your new behaviors or work to get the to understand your reasons, purpose, or dreams. Your change is all about you and you can chose who to share it with and when.
A few simple statements go a long way, like:
- I’m the DD tonight
- I am working on a new fitness plan
- I am trying a new meal plan out
- I am working on shifting my sleeping pattern
- I’ve been reading about _____, and I want to try some of the suggestions
- I have a friend who did ____, I am hoping to have similar results
- I noticed I feel better when I do _____
You can create all sorts of simple statements that give enough information but do not require you explain or rationalize your new behaviors. Just make sure you are creating statements you can back up if they ask later – i.e. if you are telling people you are working on training for a race, you might want to make sure you are planning to run a race. When people ask how’s the racing going you don’t want to be “aaaaaahhhh …” and stumble trying to make something up on the spot.
In the end, relax into the change process, enjoy the ride, find yourself, and become a better version of you. It is here you find your spirit and strengthen your soul.